I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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