mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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