And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
