Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
