sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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