the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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