that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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