I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
