Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
