I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
that may or may not have been my penis.
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