Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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