he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
