i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
