you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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