I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
