Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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