you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I love you.
Bad choice
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