This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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