Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
