He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you never un-have a 4some
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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