WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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