He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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