Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ttyl tear gas
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
