was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
