Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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