Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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