We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
