Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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