Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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