my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
