He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
