We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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