We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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