I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
