i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
