After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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