I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize