It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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