Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
