Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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