I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
