WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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