No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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