I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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