Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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