You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
