1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize