I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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