i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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