you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we should paint friendship bongs
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