So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
