just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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