it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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