I just gift wrapped bread.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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