And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
