I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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