Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
